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Staying committed to a relationship for the long term can be one of the most difficult things we do. When you live with the same person day in and day out it is inevitable that disagreements and arguments will at times occur. When your relationship is important enough to you and your spouse that you want to weather the storm, it is crucial to understand that a good marriage will take a lot of work and dedication from both sides. Below you will find 5 tell-tale signs that you may need to consider marriage counseling.

1. Either You or Your Spouse Seems Indifferent

Nikole from Blackwood Osteopathy says “many people think that hate is the opposite of love. Yes, when we think about it, hate still requires a sense of passion. Perhaps it could be truer to say that the opposite of love is indifference”.

If your relationship has reached the point where one or both of you don’t care enough to argue, counseling could be necessary. Such indifference includes a sense of not caring when your spouse is hurt, not having an interest in their life, and not having a desire to seek out time to spend together.

2. The Majority of Communication Is Negative or Results in An Argument

Whilst being indifferent can be a sign of needing marriage therapy, too much passion can also have a negative impact. Just as a fire that is out of control can cause damage, so can passion. If every conversation seems to result in a full-blown argument, there is a high chance that a communication breakdown has occurred. This can end up in either or both partners becoming defensive, overly sensitive, or feeling and reacting from a place of hurt without reason.

3. Either or Both Spouses Lie or Keep Secrets

“When spouses have started to keep secrets from each other, marriage counseling may be needed”, says Australian Hypnotherapist Bob Lane. When one or both partners start down the road of lying or keeping significant things from each other, larger problems could be under the surface. There may be a lack of trust in the relationship that has resulted in keeping facts or feelings from each other, or it may be that you have lost interest in sharing things with each other.

4. A Lack of Intimacy

Once the early years have passed, most couples struggle to keep the same level of intimacy going. This is normal. However, if you are struggling to be intimate with your spouse or feel this from them, it may be time to seek help.

5. You Seem to Be Having the Same Argument on Repeat

Of course, every relationship has some issues that are harder to overcome than others. They may come from emotional baggage, perhaps from before the relationship. That being said, the actions of a spouse in the current relationship can also create these. Couples may end up fighting about these issues repeatedly. Respect, a sense of humor, and a dedication to being understanding are crucial since these issues relate to temperament and personality; not things that are likely to change.

If you feel you need to gain knowledge and skills to build a strong relationship that fulfills you and your partner, you should consider talking with one of the experts at Effective Marriage Counselling and Relationship Coaching, not only if need help on solving problems in your marriage, but if you want to become clear about your Vision, Requirements, and Needs, and learn how to have the relationship you want with your partner.